The dining table takes more abuse than anything else you own

Heat, moisture, weight, and being leaned on daily. It is also the piece most likely to outlive the house it was bought for.

Start with the measurements

Start with the measurements, because a beautifully made table of the wrong size is a permanent irritation. Allow roughly 60cm of table edge per person for comfortable seating. Allow 90cm to 105cm of clearance between the table edge and the nearest wall or furniture - below 90cm people cannot get past a seated diner without a manoeuvre. And check the apron: the rail under the tabletop determines the gap between the seat of a chair and the underside of the table, and about 30cm is needed for adult legs. A deep apron plus a thick seat is how you end up with a table people cannot sit at properly.

A solid top or a veneered one

On the top, both constructions are legitimate and they behave differently. A solid timber top is repairable indefinitely - it can be sanded back and refinished several times over its life - but it moves with humidity, and it must be built to allow that. Look for a top attached to the base with slotted fasteners or buttons rather than fixed rigidly; that is what lets the top expand and contract without splitting. A veneered top over a stable core will not move and gives a flatter, more even surface, but it can only be refinished lightly, and never after the veneer is worn through at an edge.

The base is where tables actually fail

The base is where tables actually fail. Four legs joined to an apron with proper joinery is the traditional solution and remains the most rigid. A pedestal or trestle gives better legroom and no corner leg to sit against, but it puts everything through one or two joints, so the connection between column and top has to be substantial. Whatever the design, do the corner press: lean on the corner furthest from a leg and feel for movement. A table that flexes when you lean on it will loosen.

Extension mechanisms deserve a specific look because they are the moving part. Open and close it fully in the shop. It should run without lifting the whole table, without needing a knack, and it should close leaving a barely perceptible seam. Ask where the leaf lives - a self-storing leaf that folds inside the table is worth a great deal in practice, because a leaf kept in a cupboard is a leaf that gets used twice a year and then acclimatises differently from the rest of the table.

Extension mechanisms and finish

Finish is the last decision and the most practical one. An oiled finish looks and feels the best of any option, is easily repaired in patches, and needs re-oiling perhaps annually. A modern catalysed lacquer or conversion varnish resists heat, water and red wine far better and is what most manufacturers use, but a deep scratch means refinishing a whole surface rather than a spot. Choose according to how tolerant you are, not according to which sounds more artisanal.

The chairs are a separate purchase and should be treated as one. They can be bought later, replaced individually, and chosen for comfort rather than for matching - which is exactly the argument for not buying the set.